Perfect Parenting
Perfect parenting doesn’t exist. Neither does a perfect childhood.
Throughout their lives, children experience numerous challenges, uncontrollable situations, significant decisions and confusing circumstances. Whilst it might be comforting to think adults could protect children from all of life’s challenges, it is impossible. Nor is it wise; through challenges children gain opportunities to learn from choices, consider the meanings of their actions, develop purpose and build resilience.
Adults need to all possible to provide an emotionally and physically safe and nurturing environment for children. It is also essential that adult do all possible to meet their children’s practical, emotional and physical needs. In this instance, the child is given the best opportunity to thrive.
There may be times when parents are distracted by circumstances and don’t ask about their child’s day or realise that they are sad or worried. If the child is used to being heard and noticed on a regular basis, their perception of self-worth will not be affected. A parent might realise this circumstance on reflection; the older child might let the parent know through words or actions and the younger child might bring this to the parent’s attention through acting out, retreating or displays of emotion.
When a parent realises their behaviour may have impacted their child, there are important things they can do to minimise the impact for the child and protect the child’s self-worth.
- Listen attentively to the child
- Sincerely apologise that the behaviour has resulted in the child feeling how they do (even if the parent has a different interpretation of the situation)
- Emotionally comfort the child
- Let the child know how they will endeavour to make things different in the future. If the child is old enough, the parent can ask if there is anything they need in the moment.
Not feeling heard as a child can affect adult behaviour and emotions. If you would like more information or would like to explore any of these concepts, please be in touch.